Many women who come to my practice describe exhaustion. A flatness. A sense that the aliveness they once felt has slowly, quietly drained away.

They tell me they've tried everything—more date nights, better communication, mindfulness apps, affirmations about their worth. And still, much is missing.

Every year around this time, people set their intentions and make their resolutions by choosing words of action that symbolize their desires.

I always want to be that person who maps out a plan and then methodically executes it step by steady step, but New Year’s resolutions have never really worked for my ADHD brain which constantly spends time envisioning possibilities through fantasies and dreams.

“Our existence is forever shadowed by the knowledge that we will grow, blossom, and, inevitably, diminish and die.” -Irvin Yalom

The fear of getting old (FOGO) is a common anxiety about the physical, mental, and social declines associated with aging, including loss of independence, health issues, loneliness, and the proximity to death, fueled by societal ageism and pressure to remain youthful. In a culture where youth is glorified, aging can feel like a burden instead of the blessing that it is.

Sleep apnea is a common but frequently undiagnosed sleep disorder that disrupts breathing during sleep and is strongly linked to anxiety, ADHD, and mood disorders due to chronic sleep disruption and oxygen deprivation.

Obstructive sleep apnea is caused by the repeated blockage of the upper airway during sleep from relaxed muscles of the throat and tongue, not anxiety.

Attraction Is Not a Choice—It’s a Nervous System Response

Attraction is often treated as a conscious decision. But, it’s not a decision of the mind.

If that were true, most people wouldn’t find themselves repeatedly pulled toward relationship dynamics (what Freud called a repetition compulsion) they’ve already named as painful, confusing, or unsatisfying.

Attraction is a somatic experience, a nervous system response shaped by early relational learning.

Last spring the NYT published a piece titled, Have We Been Thinking About A.D.H.D. All Wrong?

I wanted the info, but I wasn’t interested in reading the article. I’m ADHD after all, and they didn’t make it ADHD friendly if you ask me.

Though I’m fully aware that I did lose the experience of reading it and having all the sensations and recollections that getting through a long form piece of writing gives me…in this case a chance to reflect on early childhood behavior and educational experiences.

We often speak in metaphors about “carrying” stress, “holding” onto a grudge, or being “weighed down” by worry, to describe the physical and mental energy we use to keep unwanted emotions active in our lives.

But, what if you could just stop holding on? Let go?