Toxic Achievement Culture Or There’s Probably a Reason You Haven’t Done It Yet
There's a productivity outlook that is part of toxic achievement culture that I particularly dislike: if you wanted it enough, you'd have done it already.
Surely, you know the one. It shows up in the voice that says you just need to be harder on yourself, more disciplined, more accountable. The voice that throws around words like lazy, unmotivated, not good enough.
Maybe you've been telling yourself you'll finally start that novel. Or exercise. Or make the career pivot you've been thinking about for some time.
And when you don't, you ask: what's wrong with me? This is especially true for ADHD brains, where traditional goal-setting often backfires.
Here's what I've learned after a decade of working with high-achievers and entrepreneurs: there is always a good reason why you haven't done the thing yet.
And your unconscious knows what it is, even when your mind doesn't yet.
What if procrastination isn’t the problem, but the path?
We treat procrastination like it's a character flaw, a discipline problem, a productivity gap to be managed with better systems and stricter schedules.
But what if procrastination isn't the problem at all?
What if it's just information?
Information to help you find your way?
Your body is always communicating with you.
When you sit down to write and suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to reorganize your desk, that's not random.
When you open the document for your new business offer, and your chest tightens, and you “remember” seventeen other urgent tasks, that's not laziness.
That's your nervous system telling you something.
Maybe it's saying: I don't feel safe taking this risk right now.
Maybe it's saying: We're already at capacity and you're asking me to do more.
Maybe it's saying: This isn't actually what we want—this is what we think we should want.
What Procrastination Actually Feels Like in Your Body
Before you can decode what your body is telling you, you have to learn to notice it.
The next time you find yourself avoiding the thing you say you want to do, pause. Don't push through. Don't bully yourself into action. Just pause.
And ask yourself:
Where do I feel this in my body?
Is your chest tight or constricted?
Is your stomach churning or heavy?
Are your shoulders up by your ears?
Is there a buzzing, restless energy that makes you want to move away?
Do you feel numb, disconnected, or foggy?
Is your breath shallow and high in your chest?
These sensations aren't obstacles to your productivity. They're data about what's actually happening beneath the surface of what you think you should be doing.
Figuring Out What Your Body Might Be Telling You
Your body doesn't care about your five-year plan or your content calendar. It cares about survival, safety, capacity, and the here and now.
Understanding your body is a completely personal process, but below are what some common somatic experiences might be signaling. This is generalized and intended to get your thinking about how and what your body may be communicating.
Chest Tightness or Shallow Breathing
What it might mean: Fear of visibility, judgment, or failure. Your nervous system is preparing for a threat—like the vulnerability of being seen in your work.
The compassionate response: This isn't procrastination. This is your body trying to protect you. You might need to build safety before you build momentum. What would help you feel more resourced? Maybe it's sharing your work with one trusted person first. Maybe it's reminding yourself that imperfect action is still action.
Heaviness, Fatigue, or Brain Fog
What it might mean: You're already depleted. Your body is saying “there aren’t resources for this right now.”
The compassionate response: You're not lazy. You're burned out. And no amount of willpower will override your body's truth. You might actually need rest, not more productivity. What if you gave yourself permission to do less for a while, so you can eventually do more sustainably?
Restless, Buzzing Energy That Makes You Want to Flee
What it might mean: Activation in your nervous system. This often shows up when we're about to do something that feels risky or uncertain—which creative work and entrepreneurship absolutely are.
The compassionate response: Your body is saying “this feels vulnerable.” That's not a reason to stop. That's a reason to go slower and bring more presence to what you're doing. Can you find ways to discharge some of that activation? Movement, shaking, deep breathing, or even just naming out loud, “I'm feeling activated right now” can help.
Numbness or Disconnection
What it might mean: Dissociation, often a sign that you're pushing past your actual capacity or doing something that doesn't align with what you actually want.
The compassionate response: Numbness is your body's way of checking out when something feels overwhelming or incongruent. Ask yourself: Is this goal actually mine, or did I borrow it from someone else? Am I trying to force something that doesn't fit?
Procrastination is What You Have Capacity For: Working With Your Body, Not Against It
Here's the shift: instead of treating your body's resistance as something to overcome, can you treat it as wisdom to listen to?
This doesn't mean you never do hard things. It doesn't mean you wait for perfect conditions or total clarity before you act.
It simply means you shift into curiosity to what's actually happening. To do that, judgment must be suspended.
Next time you find yourself procrastinating, it’s telling you you need to take a step back. Try this:
Stop what you're doing. Close the laptop. Put down the phone. Just be still for a moment.
Notice what's happening in your body. Scan from your head down to your feet. Where do you feel sensation? Tightness? Heaviness? Buzzing? Numbness?
Name it without judgment. "I notice tightness in my chest." "I notice my shoulders are tense." "I notice I feel heavy and tired."
Ask your body what it needs. Not what your mind thinks you should need, but what your body is actually asking for. Sometimes the answer is rest. Sometimes it's movement. Sometimes it's connection. Sometimes it's just five minutes of letting yourself feel whatever you're feeling.
Respond with compassion. If your body says "I'm scared," you don't need to push through the fear. You need to build safety. If your body says "I'm exhausted," you don't need more discipline. You need recovery.
Take the smallest next step that feels aligned. Maybe that's writing for five minutes. Maybe that's taking a walk. Maybe that's reaching out to a friend. Trust what emerges.
Good Reasons for Procrastination
When we stop treating ourselves like machines to be optimized and start treating ourselves like whole humans with nervous systems that need to be honored, things change.
Maybe you’re still learning to feel fear without pathologizing it, without intellectualizing it, without rushing to turn it into a problem that needs solving, or letting it stop you. Learning to just be with it.
Maybe instead of forcing arbitrary timelines you’re focusing on stabilizing what wants to be held now, so you can build from something real.
Sometimes the reason is because you're already burned out and it's wildly unfair to ask more of yourself right now.
Sometimes it's because you're already using all your capacity for other projects and you need to complete something before adding another.
Sometimes it's because the goal isn't actually yours—it's something you think you should want.
And sometimes it's because your body knows you're not ready yet, and that's not failure. That's wisdom.
These reasons aren't roadblocks. They're invitations to slow down, notice more and move forward with greater clarity and strategy.
The Pace of Becoming
When it comes to change, I'm interested in the most compassionate response.
Seeking to understand what we actually need to stay the course instead of believing the lie that we have to suffer our way there.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you're going slower than you think you should be going.
If your creative journey has more pauses, breaks, and re-routes than you first imagined.
Your body is not the obstacle. Your body is the guide.
And when your mind, body, and nervous system are actually resourced and ready to sustain the work your desires ask of you, it often starts to flow in a way that feels a little like magic some days.
That doesn't mean waiting for perfect circumstances that are never coming. Life is always messy and out of our control.
But it does mean working with your capacity, your needs, and at a pace that's sustainable—instead of believing the lie that you're failing if you're not going as fast as you can.
That process is slow. Really slow. And what looks like procrastination on the surface, may actually be much more, because procrastination asks of you to sit with the discomfort of death. Parts of you are dying in the process of change. They have to. The part that hustled, performed, and wanted things quickly (maybe even as a way of avoiding other things) must fall away for the new way forward.
What's something you're judging yourself for not doing right now?
Before you answer with all the reasons you think you're failing, pause and check in with your body.
What sensations are present when you think about this thing you're “procrastinating” on?
What might your body be trying to tell you?
What do you actually need to feel supported to move forward in a way that works for you—not in a way that looks good on paper?
There's probably a very good reason. And bearing witness to that reason is how we figure out what we actually need, without bullying and shaming ourselves in the process.
Your procrastination might just be your body's way of saying: slow down, pay attention, and become who you need to be to do this work.
And that becoming? That's not a detour. That's the whole entire point!