How to Let Go: A Simple Tool for Emotional Freedom Resets Throughout the Day
We often speak in metaphors about “carrying” stress, “holding” onto a grudge, or being “weighed down” by worry, to describe the physical and mental energy we use to keep unwanted emotions active in our lives.
But, what if you could just stop holding on? Let go?
The Release Technique, developed by Lester Levenson, is a simple but profound method for emotional regulation based on a simple truth: an emotion only stays as long as you are holding on to it.
Just as you can choose to drop a pen you’ve been holding too tightly, you can choose to drop a heavy feeling. Here’s how:
How to Use The Release Technique: The Three-Question Process
The goal of this technique isn't to “fix” yourself or suppress your feelings.
Instead, it’s about acknowledging a feeling and then giving yourself permission to put it down.
When you feel an emotional “charge”—whether it’s a spike of anxiety, a wave of sadness, or a flash of anger—pause and walk through these steps:
Welcome the Feeling: Identify the emotion. Where is it in your body? (A tight chest? A heavy heart?) Allow it to be there for a moment without judging it.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling in this moment. Don't try to change it or judge it. Just notice where you feel it in your body – perhaps a tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, a tension in your jaw.
Give it a name, even if it's just 'this feeling' or 'this discomfort.' Notice its intensity on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most intense.
For a moment, simply allow yourself to welcome this feeling. Welcome it as you would a guest at your door. You don't have to like it, agree with it, or forgive it, just allow it to be present without resistance.
Ask: “Could I let this go?” This is a question of possibility. Is it even possible to release this sensation? (The answer is almost always "Yes.")
Don't overthink it. Just notice the first answer that comes to mind: 'Yes' or 'No.' There's no right or wrong answer. Whatever comes up is perfectly okay. Even if you say 'no,' that's just an honest response in this moment.
Ask: “Would I let this go?” This is a question of willingness. Am I ready to feel better, or am I getting something out of holding onto this?
Again, simply notice your immediate answer: 'Yes' or 'No.' This question explores your willingness. Are you willing to release it, or would you prefer to hold onto it for some reason? There's no judgment here, just an inquiry
If your answer is 'No,' you can ask yourself: 'Would I rather have this feeling, or would I rather be free?' Or 'What am I holding onto by keeping this feeling?' Often, just asking these questions can loosen the grip.
Regardless of your answer, move to the next question.
Ask: "When?" This is an invitation to do it now.
When Should You Use It
The beauty of this technique is its simplicity. You don’t need a meditation cushion or an hour of free time. You can do it while scrolling social media. In fact I recommend it to help build awareness about what’s happening physically in your body while doom scrolling haha. You can, and should, make this a momentary practice throughout the day.
The Release Technique is particularly useful in those “in-between” moments when you feel your nervous system starting to redline:
During a Spiral of Worry: When your mind is stuck on "what-ifs," releasing the underlying want for security can bring you back to the present moment.
When Seeking Validation: If you find yourself obsessing over what someone thinks of you, you are likely holding a want for approval. Releasing that "want" helps you return to your own self-worth.
In Moments of Frustration: If you’re stuck in traffic or a difficult conversation, you might be holding a want for control. Letting go of that control often dissolves the anger instantly.
When Feeling Stuck in the Past: If a memory is causing you pain, you can use the technique to release the emotional charge attached to that memory, making it easier to process in your therapeutic work.
Why It Works
In therapy, we often spend time understanding why we feel the way we do. The Release Technique complements this by giving you a way to manage the intensity of those feelings in real-time. It moves you from being a "victim" of your emotions to being a person who can consciously choose how long to hold onto them.
By practicing this daily, you aren't just managing symptoms—you are building a deep sense of emotional resilience through exposure therapy. You are learning that while feelings come and go, you are the one who decides when to let the heavy ones drop.